I am home for the night. Had a terrible week. Found out Steve is bringing his girlfriend with him for his summer in Billings, and the reason he has cut all ties with me is because she has forbidden him to have any contact with me. Fucking hell. I want to be free of him. I want to stop loving, caring, crying. Fucking hell. I hooked up with Eric a few weeks ago. Later I found out what a dropkick he really is. Oh well, at least I got the good end of the hookup ;) I think I'm doing alright in school; I certainly try. Even when I found out about Steve's dumb slut... I was hysterical but I sat there at my computer and finished my chemistry homework. I just sort of feel like I will never have true love again and that is terrifying. I don't know.

THE FEAR

Apparently I am on academic probation and if I don't get my shit together I could be kicked out of the university... can they even do that?! I've maintained a 2.0... not great I know, but I've passed my classes (the ones I didn't drop that is) My university is offering a free two day program to help students get back on track, you even get free $50 put on your card to use around campus, but I would have to go back two days early and it will SUCK. But this year I get my shit together. Failure is not an option.

Oh and I think this guy Garrett that I went to middle school with maybe likes me, he's being especially flirty via facebook. He nice, and cute, cuter if he'd shave the gerbil off his chin. But I just don't know, it doesn't seem practical, I live in Bozeman now and I'm going back in probably less than a week. But it's certainly flattering to be flirted with.

Jenna wants nothing to do with me. I don't know what has happened, I don't understand it, and it hurts like hell. She has been my best friend for years, connected at the soul, and now it's done. I am heartbroken.