Okay, college is fun, maybe a bit too much.

So I was able to get a new usb cable for my camera and cell phone recharger and met the neighboors and hung out with my friend Christine from orientation yesterday. And Olivia moved in and things are well with her but she is cranky because it's morning and I kept trying to talk to her haha. Last night Brett brought me to a pAArty at Wes, Michael and Christians's house, that was alot of fun but I am feeling pretty crummy this morning. My fault. But when class actually does start I need to focus on that, I really REALLY need to, so I will have to work on moderation. Okay THE END.

At college, and sick

Had a meltdown yesterday, and ended up sick as fuck with flu like symptoms and I've been that way since. Had to drive two hours to get here, may not sound like alot but when you've got a stomach and headache it's hell. I've locked myself in my room, it hurts my tummy to walk and talk and my neighboors probably think I'm antisocial. Someone may have knocked on my door earlier but it was so soft that I figured it was another room, sorry people I swear I'm nice when I'm not feeling like shit!!!! Oh and I left my fuckin camera cord at home so so much for uploading pictures.

5 days...

til I leave for MSU Bozeman! Sooooo excited! I haven't even started packing yet, the most I've done is fold my sheets and taken out the shoes I want to bring with... at least 15 pairs... sucks for Olivia, my roomie. But we're cool, we've been friends since sophomore year, it'll be fun living with her. AHHHH COLLEGE COLLEGE COLLEGE! The first or second weekend there will be a dance and a football game, I'm excited for that. OH and Steve's friend Brett (who I used to get sooo jealous of, she would always say these awkward things to him around me and I was trying sooooo hard to be friends with her) wants me to come party with her and the rest of Steve's friends in college, that'll be fun and I would like to become friends with Steve's group (even though we're not technically together and he's all the way in fucking Texas) but whatever.

Steve called today.

This morning, actually. So much for my emotional freakout last night (see post below). We talked for 2 - 2 1/2 hours, and it was really nice. I was able to tell him everything I felt the last couple months we were together. He felt so bad about it, but it felt good to get that off my chest, and good to know that even though he was pretty emotionally detatched, or at least acted like it, I know he still loved me and I know he still does, and it's really too bad he's in Texas cause I love him too. Maybe if we're lucky we'll get a second chance some day, but at least we're best friends and I honestly don't think that is going to change.

I'm meeting Jenna and Olivia tonight. Jenna's leaving for Missoula tomorrow morning, I'm going to be pretty sad about that, she has been one of my best friends for the past 5 years, hell, she was my only best friend in 8th grade. We've been through alot, but at least it's only 3 hours away from Bozeman.

Only nine more days of putting up with them...

Bought these today, with a pair of black suede wedges that I couldn't find a picture of and a nice Jones New York brown blouse. I came home and my parents went insane and started yelling at me for "spending all my money on shoes" (okay, I have like 40 pairs... but it's my money!) which went on to how I "don't do anything" and it just went downhill from there. Like my mother has any fucking room to talk. It has been... how many years since she has held a job? And I worked every fucking weekday up until we left for Norway this summer, so I can spend MY money on whatever fucking shoes I want. I am just pissed and angry and I just want to sleep. But Steve said he would call tonight, and here I am starring at my damned phone willing it with my mind to ring. What the hell, I thought I was over this. Okay I am, so I am going to bed and turning off the phone.

I'm alright.

I think about Steve alot. I dream of him alot. I'm not a wreck, and I'm not lonely, I just miss him so much.

The other day I was mowing the lawn, and it smelled like fall, it was peacefull.

I would really like to start a fashion blog, and take pictures of people on the streets with interesting clothes and post them. Unfortunatly, this is Montana, not much in the way of fashion but maybe people will be more creative with their clothes at Bozeman.

Don't look back in anger.

Steve leave for Texas tomorrow morning, I'm going to his house at 3.15 am to say goodbye. We have spent the last three days together, it's been nice, and I've been happy. It's true, he wasn't so nice the last couple months of our relationship, but I know he loves me, and I am going to miss him, so much. I love him so much, but I know it wouldn't work and there's no point for me to even think about it. I just, really really love him, and I am not looking forward to saying goodbye tomorrow, it will kill me. My eyes are swelling. But I will have to survive.

Bare to dager ijen i Norge

Eg e på Merete og Hege's hus. De e alt.