Victoria's Secret started their semi-annual sale today. Chaiyi and I were there by 8.30ish am. We did our part to help the economy.

"Not all love stories have happy endings, but that doesn't make them any less filled with love"

Merry Christmas

End of the semester...

This is Tae, I have a crush on him :P

Things are much better. I am over my virus, and semester ended today. I don't know how I did on my astonomy exam, but I did study so, so hard for it. I also got my final paper back... 94%!!! And... I got a job at the Johnstone front desk for next year!! I am looking forward to a new start in the new year.

Tonight is Winfried's birthday party. Marcus (the one I like) will be there, so that means I can't drink too much... don't want to be a fool infront of him :P

I have a terrible virus, I was up sick until 6 am this morning, slept for a few hours, and woke up sick again. I am feeling slightly better, I became hungry for a late lunch, but once ate (and it wasn't much) I felt sicker. I wanted to go home. I tried to call Steve, his phone is still off. I assume he is in the UK already. Today is very unpleasant.

"What you are afraid to do is a clear indicator of the next thing you need to do"

I need to move on from Steve. I am going to do it. I will let myself be happy with someone else, as terrifying as it is. But I won't worry about it til the end of winter break. But I will. I will be happy.

I will never come over Steve.

I am hungover. Huuuuuuuuuuuung over. Shoot. Well last night hung out with Martine, we just sat in her room and talked and drank lots of wine. Then I ran downstairs and chatted with Ryan and Nathan and ran back up, and down again, and the French and the Scottish guy and the Korean guy were playing Poker in the lobby, so I went and brought Martine down, cause I think I like the Korean guy, Tae, too. Winfried, Jean-Maxime, Gregor, and others came back from bowling, so we chatted with them. Martine went to bed and I stayed in the lobby talking with Winfriend and Jean-Maxime. They left, and the French left too, and I started talking to Tae and we talked for sooooooooo long, it was so nice. Then he decided we should play chess, I don't think he realized I was drunk, but we played, and I lost quickly and explained to him I had drank a bit before and we played again and I lost again, haha. Most difficult game EVER to play intoxicated! But it was really nice hanging out with him, conversation flowed really easily, but then again that could have been the wine. But whatever. I'm pretty sure I like both him and Marcus, but I'll wait til after the winter break to see what happens.

Yesterday was exactly half a year since Steve and I broke up. But it was a good day regardless. I will always love him, and miss him, but I am getting on with life.

Ooooooooh butterflies, you seem to be making your rounds with me. This weekend I may be going skiing at Bridger Bowl with the gorgeous German Marcus and his friends, not to be confused with the other German Markus. I don't know him terribly well, or see him too often, but the few times I do I get big butterflies spazzing in my chest. He's so, so nice, the type of person who sits and talks to anyone who is around him, who seems genuinely interested with everyone. And he holds a gaze, and it makes me weak. Ooooooh I do like him alot. He's 24, so it's unlikely I have a chance, but I do feel like a silly 12 year old girl.

Friday: Hung out with Brett, Nathan, and Robby and the guy's apartment. They played video games while Brett and I looked at hot men in the new People magazine.

Saturday: Went cross-country skiing in Yellowstone with Maeva. That night went to a party with Brett. Didn't drink, it was my second sober Bozeman weekend. I haven't drank in quite a while. Blake tried to hookup with me, but I told him about Paul. I don't think anything's going to happen with Paul. Whatever.

Sunday: Slept all day, did nothing. Ate sweets and talked with Martine in her room and took goofy pictures. Stayed in my pajamas all day.

He wants to be close friends again, he says he's ready. Of course he is, he has moved on, I have not. It hurts far too much, I love him far too deeply and passionatly. He said he would not call again, but that I can call him when I want to talk. I sent him a love/goodbye for now letter. I need to be done with this.

God, mend my heart,

"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel"

I woke up in a good mood today, got lots of things done. Then Steve texted not too long ago, he wants to talk tonight. I am moving on with life, but it's so hard. I sometimes wonder if he has a "Michelle Happiness Radar", and every time I am moving forward he needs to swoop down and put an obstacle in my path. But I am going to get though, get through, get through everything. I know what I want in life, and that is where I am trying to put my heart.

“ For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can’t get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere cause when you find that right person for a kiss, it’s everything. ”

- Greys Anatomy

If nothing else, that kiss on Friday reminded me what true romance feels like.