Eg e sjempe syk idag :[

My tummy hurts.
Last weekend was pretty good. Thursday I was at N. Hedges with some people, we drank a bit, and it doesn't take much for me... BAAAAD I KNOW! But I made sure I got ALL my homework done and even did my weekend's homework before I went, and I drank a liter of water and was good in the morning. Friday was pretty great. I went out with Maeva and met with the other internationals and drank in Pryor, and then we went to some bar/club place and danced and danced and danced but I was pretty drunk to be honest and I made quite the spectical of myself and everyone thought I hooked up with one of the German guys Markus cause I mostly hung out with him, but that was just because he was being so nice and I was drunk and just wanted a friend. But yesterday Maeva told me I was crowding her a bit and asked me if my old friends don't miss having meals with me, and I got the hint and she said I'm of course free to sit with her friends but now I feel so awkward and I just don't know where I belong. And she wasn't being rude about it at all, I need my space too so I am not offended at all, I mean yesterday and today I've been to just Hannon for meals but I never know if I'm going to have someone to sit with, even though I'm so much younger than the internationals it was at least nice knowing I had a group to eat with.. and this week has just been hard and I am menstrally emotional and I REALLY miss Steve like none other... God! What I would give to be curled up next to him!! I just feel really depressed right now and sick (literally-not just stress wise) and I just want to go home but it's supposed to snow this weekend and I'm not driving on the interstate on the ice.

On the bright side, I think Steve and I will be getting back together next summer, we've been talking alot but I don't really know, but I think so. And I am going to not drink so much anymore because I am sick of being a fool and I want to try and work even harder in classes it's just so difficult when I don't even know what I am working for or what I am even trying to achieve.