Edda isn't the only one returning this summer, Steve has gotten himself an internship at the Conoco Phillips refinery here for the summer. I aquired this information from running into his brother on campus and facebook stalking his girlfriend a little. Don't judge me, I'm just the only one willing to own up to it! I love him so much still, I would take a damn bullet for him, but he can't even be bothered to text or talk to me; what's the point?! I am not depressed, but I miss him, I do. I know I "shouldn't" and it's been soon two years since we split but it feels like I will never love anyone as I do him. I certainly didn't love Eric. We were together two and half months or so. I spent one day mourning the breakup, the next two angry, and since then I've been indifferent. We've texted since, I told him the other day I'm glad we never made a baby. He said he doesn't want one for a long time. I don't care enough to hate him or be sad. So glad I didn't have any form of sex with him, he does not deserve my vagina or mouth. Yuck. I feel enormous. I've gained wait and I just do not feel feminine and sexy, tomorrow I will be sure to get myself to the gym and quit the eggnog and cookies. It was a good Christmas, I got a top I really wanted from Dillards and YSL Parisienne perfume and lotion, and some other things. I had a lot of fun putting together the gifts for my friends. I got Leslie and Jenna the same pumps in different colors and they both LOVED them, I was pretty thrilled for that. I look forward to the new year, and I would like to make different resolutions this year. I love fresh starts, the new year always seems to give everyone a clean slate and a chance to redeem themselves, and that is something I plan to take advantage of.

I ain't sayin you treated me unkind, you could have done better but I don't mind. You just kind of wasted my precious time but don't think twice it's alright.

I don't have a boyfriend anymore.